Spoonfeed my heart..

Sun, 24 Jun 2007 19:15:51 GMT

IM DUMPING THIS SITE
SO PEOPLE WHO LOVE ME PLEASE HEAD ON TO:

WWW.XANGA.COM/CARAMELIX

THANKYOUSOMUCH.
<3

Sat, 23 Jun 2007 16:56:37 GMT

She thinks about those trees falling in the woods
silent and unobserved
until one day someone comes along;
and notices with a start that the entire forest is gone

Fri, 22 Jun 2007 18:08:22 GMT

( edited )

Flashes of him came running through my head.
My tears almost burst til i shake myself awake.
Im outta my mind.

My xanga site, I kinda preferred xanga over lj. may be making some changes soon.
So stay tuned.

Jay and I were talking about horoscopes and he was blabbering about his aries being a workaholic yada yada, and i don't know about mine thou. They ALWAYS say virgos are huge perfectionists but i really beg to differ as i don't see any of these in me for the past 17 years. Then chanced upon this bulletin. You see..

Below are true descriptions of zodiac
signs, with traits from a book written
35 years ago by an astrologist
predictions. Read your sign, then
forward it on, with your zodiac sign
and label on the subject line.

AQUARIUS - The One that Waits
Dominant in relationships. Someone
loves them right now. Always Wants the
last word. Caring. Smart. Loud. Loyal.
Beautiful. Goofy. Easy to talk to.
Everything you ever wanted. Easy to
please. The one and only. 7 Years of
bad luck if you do not repost.

PISCES - The Addict
EXTREMELY adorable. Intelligent. Loves
to joke. Very Good sense of humor.
Energetic. Predict future. GREAT
kisser. Always get what they want.
Attractive. Easy going. Loves being in
long relationship. Talkative.
Romantic. Caring. 4 years of bad luck
if you do not repost.

LEO - The Coolest one
Nice to everyone they meet. Their Love
is one of a kind. Silly, Fun and
sweet. Have own unique appeal. Most
caring person Ever meet! however not
the kind of person you wanna mess
with... u might end up crying... 9
years of bad luck if you do not repost.

GEMINI - The Liar
Outgoing. Lovable. Spontaneous. Not
one to mess with. Funny. Excellent
kisser EXTREMELY adorable. Loves
relationships,
Addictive. Loud. 16 years of bad luck
if you do not repost.

CANCER - Does It In The Water
Trustworthy. Attractive. Great kisser.
One of a kind. Loves being In long-
term relationships. Extremely
energetic. Unpredictable. Will exceed
your expectations. Especially with
your mom. Not a Fighter, But will
Knock your lights out. 2 years of bad
luck if you do not repost.

ARIES- Irresistible
Nice Love is one of a kind. Great
listeners Very Good in bed... Lover
not a fighter, but will still knock
you out. Trustworthy. Always happy.
Loud. Talkative. Outgoing VERY
FORGIVING. Loves to make out. Has a
beautiful smile. Generous. Strong. THE
MOST IRRESISTIBLE. 9 years of bad luck
if you do not repost.

SAGITTARIUS-The Lion
Great talker. Attractive and
passionate. Laid back. Knows how to
Have fun. Is really good at almost
anything. Great kisser. Unpredictable.
Outgoing. Down to earth. Addictive.
Attractive. Loud. Loves being in long
relationships. Talkative. Not one to
mess with. Rare to find. Good when
found. 7 years of bad luck if you do
not repost.

TAURUS- The Cutie
Most Amazing kisser. Very high appeal.
Love is one of a kind. Very romantic.
Most caring person you will ever meet!
Entirely creative. Extremely random
and proud of it. Freak. Spontaneous.
Great at telling Stories. Not a
Fighter, But will Knock your lights
out if it comes down to it. Someone
you should hold on to. 12 years of bad
luck if you do not repost.

LIBRA - The Partner for Life
Caring and kind. Smart. Center of
attention. High appeal. Has the last
word. Good to find, hard to keep. Fun
to be around. Extremely weird but in a
good way. Good Sense of Humor!!!
Thoughtful. Always gets what he or she
wants. Loves to joke. Very popular.
Silly, fun and sweet. 5 years of bad
luck if you do not repost.

CAPRICORN - The Passionate Lover
Love to bust. Nice. Sassy.
Intelligent. Sexy. Predict future.
Irresistible. Loves being in long
relationships. Great talker. Always
gets what he or she wants. Cool. Loves
to own Geminis' in sports. Extremely
fun. Loves to joke. Smart. 24 years of
bad luck if you do not repost.

SCORPIO - Aggressive.
Loves being in long relationships.
Likes to give a good fight for what
they want. Extremely outgoing. Loves
to help people in times of need. Good
kisser. Good personality. Stubborn. A
caring person. One of a kind. Not one
to mess with. Are the most attractive
people on earth! 15 years of bad luck
if you do not
repost.

VIRGO- The Promiscuous One
Spontaneous. High appeal. Rare to
find. Great when found. Loves being in
long relationships. So much love to
give. Not one to mess with.Very
pretty.2 yrs of bad luck if u nvr
repost

VERY PRETTY CAN?
Ey steph we're PRETTY GIRLS!
Ha Ha Ha.
( Ugh what an optimist )

Just as many people were asking, yes this is The L Word.
i think Jen is a bitch, and i thought the idea of blindfolds and creams is really cute *chuckles*

Unless I wise up, this dramashits will never end..

I can't believe last night..actually..happened..
God, I think i'm insane..
I feel, sore..

Oh this is really backdated but I think I look really different 4 months ago.
no?

Just look at MY CHEEKS, THEY ARE SO THERE.
Oh you kno what, im weighing like 41kg now, i thought i was like 43-45.
Fine i know thats pure randomness.

This is art.

HAPPY SWEET 18TH MY LOVELY ADORABLE SEXY SUGARY LALA-Y LOVE-Y RAYNE PHANG.
<3
YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU!!

Rainbow! Its been ages since i last saw the colours, but maybe because they're just there and i don't give a hoot about mother's nature.

We didn't really celebrate thou.. but glad i can spend your special day ( sorta ) with you <33
We had breeks, it's my all time favourite.
Double the steaks, pleaseeeeeeeeee.

They always taste so goooood.
Pictures don't do justice.
And the same ol' mussel shooters, and soup.

Our cups are kissing each other. ( her idea )

Birthday-Girl finds joy in tickling Betty's armpit.

I hate it when im waiting so long for the camera to snap that my face looks retarded.
Lousy camera-holder. :D
Do you love my earrings?
It's furry, giving off this little winter feel, and it's in a teddybear-shaped. <3

Yes I know my eyes look horrible.
Its been a week and the infection is still there.
I even had a hard time trying to sms, or to watch a simple tv.
As im writing this, it honestly still hurts.
Doctor says I'll have to get myself admitted to the A&E if this still persists on. :(
It's really baddd :((((((

I got her this ALDO clutch.

We had WARAKU.

Lovely ambience.

My eyes went really crazy that day so we couldn't take much photos what a pity
There's her thou.
Don't you just wish you can have her complexion?

My RAMANE!

I was thrilled the first time i saw it like when im 6? Kinda like this idea of having that little marble popped in and u see many bubbles growling, rolling in the bottle while drinking from it.
Hmm so anyways..

I had the beef.. ( like always.. )

It was my first time there
I almost ate it RAW. >.<
And i had to ask the waitress like how long do i have to wait before i dig in..
I kno, its so wtf (?)

Jt got the codfish after much consideration

Hers was yummier :(

And the ice cream desserts, we ordered them cus they looked cute

The strawberry is my favouriteeeeeeeee.
Its like strawberry yoghurt.
SUGOI (!)
Well, that sums up about all

Oh, Agnes is leaving.
We HAD to take this photo.

( my hair is so bad )

Agnes followed by teyweili.
Guess I'll be the next.
You know the time spent there is just..
Hmm I don't think I should continue I dont wanna get into trouble again knowing im super unlucky these days.

Fortunately i didn't agree to cla's show tomorrow cus i just remembered i have morning shift the next day! And the show is like what, 11pm-3am?
I will get zonked.
I have to HAVE my beauty sleeeeeeeep.

So long!

Mon, 18 Jun 2007 06:19:58 GMT

I wonder if God is playing a trick on me, but as i lay back on my bed, itunes kept playing our song..

which got me reminiscing..

It was sweet of you to love me
It was nice being with you
and it's..okay, that you don't want me anymore
I will always remember, a part of you, so tender..

From here, i'll stop holding this grudge and pain.
It's always and still, nice, to have this memory of us, forever staying with me.
And as i look back, I smile.
I look at our pictures, I..smile.
However torn and broken I was/am, I'll accept our ending with an open heart.
I sincerely thank, you.

Fri, 15 Jun 2007 08:22:17 GMT

Don't let someone be a priority in your life
when you are only an option in theirs

Fri, 15 Jun 2007 04:38:20 GMT

Truth can cause a sharp pain behind your eyes
and that love sometimes feels like a fist around your throat.

I was so having the 'emoemoemo' mode yesterday. And its so depressing being in this state.
Two bigboys were by my side, literally. And its funny to think that they were part of my life before, if you know what i meant.
I don't know what God is tryna do, really.

I had a bad morning.
7am, tummy was hurting sooo baaaaaaddd i had to rush to the bathroom.
Diarrhoeas.
8am, diarrhoeas again.
Its so fucked to know the "diarrhoea pain" is pretty much consistent.

And then on my way to tuition, this family had to block my way in the middle of the road. They were strolling ever so slowly.
It's not the normal slow slow, it's pretty fucking-annoying slow. And they had to block me.
The next thing i know, their bloody brolly knocked on my shoulder. Not a single apology was heard.

And then, i had to rush to my tuition kid's house to KNOW that they DON'T WANT ME ANYMORE cus i kept having to absent myself. ( not like i don't have my reasons, reason being i had sore eyes for DAYS and i really didnt wish to spread it to the kid herself ). Oh yes, how really angry i am.
Oh wtf, wait til i reach your house then you tell me that? I was so on the verge of slapping that ~~laocheebye~~ obasan.

And oh, after carrying my school books all the wayyyy out then i came to realize there wasn't any class today either.
So tell me how shit-poo my morning was.
I was so screwed i just cabbed home, And now im back home using the lappy, i'm actually discussing w/ josh regarding disneyland LMAO.
Random but yaynesssss.

Kelson's away.

Steph and me planning on a 'black-and-white affair'
GAHHHH, i can't wait.
My 18th, its soooo gonna be...
FUN.
Can september roll over?
People, please make september FREE.
There's like a thousand and one things i can do with 18.
Legal access to clubs, drinks, and the best part of all, MORE JOBS from ling, man i hope she meant what she said. HA.
WHEEEEEEE im so excited.

Did i mention i've found an antidote for sleepless + teary + horrible nights?
Imma happy girl :)

I just can't get over...him.

Thu, 14 Jun 2007 10:09:14 GMT

I hope you know, I hope you know
That this has nothing to do with you
It's personal, myself and I
We've got some straightenin' out to do
And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But I've got to get a move on with my life
It's time to be a big girl now
And big girls don't cry

Random.

Tue, 12 Jun 2007 18:49:02 GMT

I have tons and truckloads rushing through my mind but i just go blank everytime i tried to pen it down.
I think my life is so much of a bore.
Work is a bore.
Locking myself up in this tiny pink room is a bore.
Relating myself to stupid love songs is a bore.
Trying to convince myself "..tomorrow it may change" is a bore.
I swore to rip "All My Life" out of my zen and cellie, but i just didn't.
Ugh, loser i know.
Getting to know more "new friends" couldn't help me move on either.
I guess I was just deceiving the shit outta myself.
Gross.
I had a crazyassssss dream last night.
I just felt like doing something maaaaaadddd. I don't know, i think life's too short to waste it.
Don't you just have to agree with me?
Yes, LIFE'S TOO FUCKING SHORT, SO WHATEVER YOU FELT LIKE DOING BUT HAVE NO FUCKING GUTS, JUST GO DO IT BECAUSE THE CLOCK IS TICKING. DON'T WASTE IT.
ho-kay, im pretty much motivated now.
i need xxx, ha no im kidding.
it's like 3am in the morning now and i just can't stop blabbering cus i want to have hotcakes for breakfast later and i can't sleep.
OMG, i really can't sleeeeeeeeeeep. I needa knockout'.

SOMEONE MAKE ME A HAPPY GIRL.

Tue, 12 Jun 2007 14:25:15 GMT

My day was so wrong.
Big bullies.
Sigh
Shame, shame..

I LOATHE being a loanshark.
Witnessing my account running dry as days passed
and hunting people down for $$$$$$
I have like 3 "clients" on hand.
And.
Delayed wages.
Not like Im paid good. Those are like nuts.
I mean c'mon, i'm barely 18.
Sigh.

That's when i thought maybe i should have a change of lifestyle.
Not like i have a boyfriend to control me or something, im as carefree as a birddddddddddd.

I see my life turning into a majoric change soon.
My life before me, drastic?
You'll..see.

"the pages keep turning
I mark off each day with a cross
and I'll laugh about all that we've lost"

emobitch.

Sun, 10 Jun 2007 18:58:42 GMT

People around me.my girlfriends.each and everyone of em.all i see is them lingering around with their boyfriends.
IM SICK OF IT.
Ugh, get used to it!!
I should really start to.
cusi'llneverbeasblessedasthesegirls.
maybei'mjustnotsweetenough.

And kenny, stop the knife thing pls.

Fri, 08 Jun 2007 17:12:51 GMT

Mariecat cups.. aren't they just sooooo adorable..
geez.

Even have the water inside the cups and the pink+red hearts floating around with glitters.
:)

My sore eye is giving me all the trouble and pain in the world. Damn..

* yo ho, yo ho, a pirates' life for me! *
Remember we used to keep singing it in the boat and the water splashing around, gahhhhhhh thrilling shit.
I wanna watch 'Men in White', but noone wants ta watch it with me. :(

Wed, 06 Jun 2007 15:30:31 GMT

I looked really bad. When the light shines on, my eye starts to tear like maaaaddd. It's so horrible i swear, that i had to get my shades on.
it's so..red.
:((((

Haha. Stupid Meatball.

I can't stand my cheeks. They look like my butt. Buttcheeks.

They say, "it takes a few bad relationships before you meet the right one. And when the right one comes along, you'll appreciate it more because of all these bad ones you've had."
I asked, " And what if you've had too much of the bad ones you don't appreciate the right one anymore? "

Tue, 05 Jun 2007 18:00:38 GMT

The love that i've always wished for, prayed for, dreamt for.. will never come my way..
:)

Remembering the nights we felt infinite..

Sat, 02 Jun 2007 09:06:33 GMT

i can't wait to fall in love with you.. you can't wait to fall in love with me..!

FWAH i didn't have enough sleep these days. last night was only 2 hrs of sleep, previous was 3 hrs. i almost died at work this morning. Wed was Vaunt02@zouk, cranky night, so wild, so hilarious. gagaga. Fri was spent at zouk ( initially ) but we got into velvet dragon instead. HAAH. Hmm, nothing much to say about VD, but its still all good.

And kel, i've always wanted to ask you this, does your tongue feel good that night? LOL.

Bumped into Huang, Tisa and Spike yesterday! Tisa wears everything green, top to toe, she thinks she's shrek. They yelled at me asking me to shoo and go far away from them.. :(((

Caught Shrek3. Wanted to marathon and watch the pirates of carribean3 after that but had to rush to meet with steph and nat in the night.. so ya.. Shrek was O-KAY, but i really much preferred Shrek 2. Aww :(

im actually really sleepy now, thought i could catch some sleep but i have to go meet rayne for dinner. So tata!

( I can't believe you left. But that's what you want.. I promise i'll never be so stupid as to beg you to stay anymore.. )

Wed, 30 May 2007 16:30:24 GMT

Tue, 29 May 2007 05:05:52 GMT

nobody told me there's consequences for loving somebody too much.

we should never start out together in the first place, now it's such a disaster.

let's just leave things where it is and move on now..

Lesson learned from him: Never put in a 100% in a relationship, u're just putting urself at risk.

" A wise woman kisses but never love,
listens but never believe,
leave before she's left."

Sat, 26 May 2007 03:39:49 GMT

unfair treatments.. i get them everyday.
maybe i just don't belong here..

Fri, 25 May 2007 15:15:27 GMT

you know.. i don't know what's love anymore..

Thu, 24 May 2007 16:42:15 GMT

i heard seaweed shaker fries is baccckk??

OMG

Im gonna be second to nuts

( jt is 'the nut' )

Wed, 23 May 2007 16:04:57 GMT

im still not happy..
God give me a sign
what should i do..

Tue, 22 May 2007 15:04:01 GMT

you're the biggest asshole on earth

im so devastated.... so exhausted...

PS: LJ will be locked for friends only. Add me if you know me and you're not nosey.

Mon, 21 May 2007 13:10:51 GMT

The weather is screwing me.
Practically when it's so burning hot outside and really really cold til i get a stupid brainfreeze indoors at work.
I was so sick I had to take a halfday leave :((
And i can't fucking believe myself, i queued close to a fucking hour to get a cup of fucking bubbletea.
OMFG.
I kno i shouldn't have done that, but i just, really really like to have bubbletea :(

Joey's in Los Angeles NOW. Josh's going next month.
When will mine arrrrrrrrive?
7 mths later??
*screams*
:((

Will be at SK tomorrow, i hope nothing screws up. I hate PM shift.

I don't know about us now.
I can't believe our journey ends here.
Never thought we'd be separated..
But don't you worry, i'm adjusting well to my singlehood.
My life's all good.
I promise :)

so far away,,

Fri, 18 May 2007 16:03:47 GMT

/edited ( 2.09am )

Remember how we became an item?

it was on the 29th oct, 06..

You asked if i would allow you to take care of me. I say yes. That was the sweetest day,, I smile to myself..

18th may, 07.

I had to let go.. The love and care you once gave me, fades with the time..

Neglected and forsaken, is like a daily routine for me

What would you do, if you have someone who pulls you down ever so frequently, yet, you can't live without him?

Having a boyfriend, was like not having any one at all..

Im actually not feeling really well now, but who, really gives a damn about me..?

I had you, and at the same irony time, i had to envy my girlfriends who had love showering them.

I envy her, who have her lil sweetheart coming to see her everyday, to be with her at her most difficult and troubled times..

I so envy her, who have her boyfriend commenting her in friendster every now and then, telling about how much he appreciates, cherish, love her.. and that the marriage will be coming so soon..

At the other end, i have a boyfriend who had another girl writing i miss you comments.

Guess our journey ends here..

let me go now, let me continue with my life.

i hope you'll not think that you could make it up to me and everything goes back to normal again. not this time. never again. you've had your chance..

Bumped into chengyu, megat, fauzee, harry, shaun ( did i miss anyone? ) just now, in the park, when it's all DARK.
I was ALARMED. They just kept shouting my name like as if fascinated. Bummer.

i have a flower grown at the back of my ear.
geeeez.
*chuckles*

* Bajumbo moi noi noi jecker
Dabatto bumperget tum tum *

I had locoroco playing in my zen for the past 2 hrs or so.
So kawaaaaaaaaaiiiiii.
Ugh, all my troubles were gone :))
*smiles*

( I didn't bother you much today, it's like so cold. I felt really alone. Is this what you really want? Are you much happier this way? )

Thu, 17 May 2007 12:34:35 GMT

would you only learn to cherish after i walk out from your life?

:(

Sun, 13 May 2007 07:51:37 GMT

I just logged in and pop comes camy.

" hey do you know this girl call KESHIA ? "

And im like, WHO THE FUCK IS SHE BITCH?!

lol, i didn't do that.
It didn't ring a bell so i asked why?

' she talked bad about you '

I was so puzzled cus im 100% sure i don't even know she exists.

And i asked, yea? what did she say?

" she said you look like a ghost. "

RAHHHHHHHHHH. i get this so often im sick of it.
Can all these blind simpletons just differentiate two things?
GHOST. and FAIR-SHADE PEOPLE.
and it'll make these world a far much better place to live in.
OMG ( i know jt get this so often too ) and it's effing annoying the next person who comments blatantly im so gonna stab his/HER eye and eyeball with a beautifully-sharpened pencil.
Im serious. It's FUCKING irritating.

And i honestly think "keshia" doesn't suit her. she doesn't look that... cool?
*chuckles*

I kept my cool and asked her, what's next?
" she said you have a weird nose but hers is bulbously huge! hahahaha! "

( post editted, i think im too crude :( )

I have nothing against her i sweaaaaarrrrrrrr.

PS: you can say " aiya she's just saying only la, why need to discriminate her?" I would say, " yes i know, im doing the same thing too, unbiasedly. "